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The way I am

Everyone has tendencies, and a brain, and a certain characteristic as to why that brain works the way it does.
Well, this is simply the explanation I can give of mine.

Today was a day when I hijacked my flatmate’s date, we are really alike, which would explain why we got along so well when she started Instant Messaging me on Whatsapp.
I remember also telling her that she would find a dater here, and she disagreeing.
And guess who was right?

I cannot say I have a knack for these things, but I think it isn’t hard to figure out people who are so much like you, you dont need to tell them something twice for them to understand, sometime’s you dont even have to say at ALL.

So, anyway, on the date I hijacked, I was also sent off by her boyfriend, who admittedly, I have never really appreciated, atleast not for her. Call me selfish and mean, but I wish they would break-up, so I don’t have to be different around her.

I’m selfish but I think I’m considerate, stupid and caring in my own ways too.

Case in point being, I am due to have a new roommate in the next 16 days, and honestly, I cannot WAIT to meet her.
I’m leaving the bigger cupboard for her, and she has a bed made for her. a card shall not be forgotten as a welcome.

And to put it in terms of a current scenario, just this evening I wanted some Baskin Robbins, and me being the only one, I did.
Admittedly, I bought very stupid flavours, but I did not want to share even a lick, and yet I did.
Each offering had my brain thinking,”This is YOUR money! DON’T SHARE!”
I, on the other hand, decided that it’s human to share, and not be selfish, and if you are nice, you cannot be mean.

And I decided I was going to be nice.
I think I need to start keeping to my word, in all situations.


Everyone everyday, sometimes even all the time, had challenges.
Some they’re fond of, others they know they’ll learn from and still others that just annoy the juice out of a lemon infront of you.
Mine, personally, are a tonne a day.
Giving an exam.
Trying not to be self conscious.
Keeping patience.
Being on time.
Not getting annoyed by my grandmother’s grandmotherly ways.
Speaking to other students of my course.
Speaking to someone who doesn’t understand me.
Maintaining sarcasm to a bare minimum when in conversation with the above.
Being in constant jealousy or competition. I suppose there’s different terms for it.
Challenges have threatened us since time immemorial.
Can you stand and fight, though?
Would you accept a challenge to get your hair cut into a crop?
Could you wear it with confidence, even while having knowledge of the fact that you look like a boy to unobservant humans?
Is it okay to hug a boy normally?
Or do they only accept those weird awkward intertwined-arm-back-pats?
If it is, that’s really absurd, not to mention extremely sad of the human race.
Today, 10.06.2014, I gave my first English exam for my course.
The shortest, simplest exam I have given till date.
But, after, we had made plans to head on out.
I didn’t know though, that the plan wasn’t only us, but other people too.
Well, apparently, it was.
Not that that intimidates me, but it does make me overly self conscious.
Are the hot people gonna be there?
Or is it going to be a bunch of people that don’t understand sarcasm?
Are they going to understand me?
Those are my general foremost thoughts.
Is that even normal?
Well, anyway, we went to Hauz Khas Village, after going to SDA i.e.
They were Awesome! ^.^
Someone also caught my fancy.
And I actually knew the boy, that’s a change from the usual.
I was spoken of, inconsequentially, nevertheless.
Doesn’t cease to challenge me though.
Is it going to be or not?
As for what I’m talking about, it could be ANYTHING.
Take your pick.

I had so much to say.

Hahahaha, I’m funny.
Only last night I was thinking I had so much I could write about.
I really think I should start grabbing hold of those brain moments and seize them, because looking back at the activity on my blog, by me, has been about one blog post a month.
And that’s just sad, alongwith being a very long sentence.
I like how retarded I sound writing these things talking to the universe of myself, so I must do it more often.
Atleast more than once a month would be an excellent upgrade to my mental illness.
I don’t have any more rubbish to say here.
I’ll see you aliens lataaah! 
Bye, you! =D

An idle mind

Truly became the devil’s workshop.

So, today I went to Training Department, which is the main department that takes care of us, but then I ended up doing something really really stupid. -.-

Walking in, inquisitive and snoop-y and gossip-digger-type as I am, I picked up someone else’s file.

Now, we have ABAF’s going on, which is basically a report card on your attitude within the program.

And, mine didn’t, for the most part, go very well.

I’m not surprised at that, though.

Here’s where the story begins. There was a girl who joined after me, in September, 2 days after my birthday, is hers, and I predicted almost everything she is now, then.

Also, the fact that I would be jealous of her.

Which is obviously now, a prominent feature of my regard towards her, which is rather petty and girl-like for me. All those years, telling Girls ‘How NOT to be’, and I’ve turned EXACTLY into one. -.-

So, I wanted to see what her ABAF went like.

And see I did.

Only problem was, I was not supposed to, and I got caught red handed, with nothing to say, apart from a lie that I tried to cover up with, that said, she had allowed me to.

Now comes the time to admit my mistake.

My manager OBVIOUSLY did not take it very nicely, but my only possible fix would be to tell this girl of what I did.

I mean, we still do consider ourselves pretty close to each other.

And I have to fix a wrong, before my Manager tells her, and I get screwed over.

I really do need to stop having such an idle mind. Damn that stupid Devil. -.-

Wish me luck?


So, for the past 19 years of my life, I’ve managed to go on saying no to alcohol.
At some point of time I guess I knew it was bound to break down, but I didnt want to believe that I could be that malleable with a decision.
I had liked to think I was stubborn.

But on 15th March,2014, turns out I was proven wrong.
There was one of our supervisors who was leaving, after 6 years of having been with the company.
Sadly enough, we didnt get to work with him as much as we would have liked to, but we got a tiny door of oppurtunity, so I have to grateful for even that much.
That was the night I was made to drink.
And gotta say, drinking is overrated.
I have no plans of getting into it, even now.

Only difference now is, I cant really say I dont drink anymore, cause I have.
And almost two glasses.
Which was VERY,VERY submissive on my part, given my self-promise.

The past so many years though, being a TINY bit of a smarty, and listening to everything everyone says has kinda paid off.
Especially when it comes to something like this.

So, my first time was when my roommate took me to HRC, and I ordered something to drink that sounded yummy, and when I took a couple sips of it, it tasted utterly bitter and horrible.
Like a sour lime gone old, bitter.

And when I asked her, she gave me a reply as if it were the most obvious thing for me to know.
I suppose, being from the kind of background that she is, she would know.
Cant blame her, really.
Was a bit of my own fault.
I never bothered finding out, I just remained too oblivious to it, just because I was not drinking.
And then to cover up the alcohol, I stuffed myself with as much bad burger and fries I could, so the symptoms would nit.
You know? The dizziness, hurting head, vomiting, hangover.
i do not want to ever go through that. In my LIFE.
Just …. what a sour patch. Why would I want that?

So, when I drank my glass of Vodka and Pomegranate juice against my own will, Initially it did not hit me.
And I also kept substituting my sips with chips.
And I had had something to eat before anyway, so I was a bit chill about that.
Then, when I finished my glass, one of my managers, decided I hadnt had any,and I needed to.
So, it was a secret conspiracy against me. =|
And they poured me another, I somehow got through half that glass, and then the party got over, and during the clear up, someone threw the remaining away, which was quite a relief.

I kinda wanna know what I’ll be like when I’m drunk, but I dont ever want to be dependent on someone when I am, which IS what you do end up being.
I meant to tell my Mum, but she didnt bother listening too well, she wanted to hurry off to have a bath. -.-
So much for long distance conversations. =|

Submission is something I dont want to have to go through again, but I probably will have to.

So, gotta keep myself prepared for the next time.
 Cant let it happen again.
That was how it went ‘down’.
Nothing new. (y)
Atleast I remained true to a bit of what I had promised myself.

I’m gonna miss him. ={

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